commit suicide who?

Hero loves heroin..??

but heroin loves Villain..??

but villain loves hero sister..??

but hero sister loves heroin brother..??

but heroin brother loves villain sisters..??

but villain sisters loves hero's brother..??

Finally two persons commit suicide who r they...???

Begger: Rs.6 ivandi sir coffie tagali
Man:Coffie Rs.3 kada
Beg: pakana girlfrnd undi sir
Man: Beggarki girlfrnda?
Beg: girlfrnd vachake beggerni ayyanu sir



..................................

In Ghajini, if Surya was killed instead of Asin,
the movie will cross over 1000cr. Why ?




Then Asin will have to write everything on her body.

.................




principle : all students must try to get 95%

student : no sir we try for 100%

principle : are you joking ???

student: nee yenkamma evadu ra first joke chesindi.........................


............................

high laziness
Son : Dad 1 Glass water ivvu
Dad : nuvve techuko
Son : plz ivvu
Dad : malli adigitey Tanta
Son : tanataniki vachetapudu water tisukonki raaaaa



.....................

Default
Oh God! give me 1 bag full of money, a job, 1 big vehicle & many girls around me!

GOD : Ur Wish is full filled.......

.
.
.
.
.
.
he became............
.
.
.
.
A Bus Conductor...
__________________

mahamanthri: maharaaja yuddaniki siddham kammani pakka desham raju sms pampaadu..
yemi cheyamantaru prabhu???

raju : sms sendiang failed ani reply pampu...

...................................
ady:naku ma vari nundi divorse kavali sir
advocate:me aayana kabadi champion kada,enti problm
lady:adhe problm sir,just touch chesi paripothunnaru


...........................

age of drinks

1-3 milk


3-5 cerelac


5-15 horlicks


16-25 Beer



26-45 whisky




46-75 tonic



after 75 anytime :tulasi teertham



......................







by mistake sardar goes into Ladies Toilet.all ladies suddenly stand up
sadar: gowravam manasulo vunte chalu...
baito baito





....................................

Once James Bond met a Dog
he said I am Bond james Bond............

Then dog Bites him & said i am KUkKA PICHHI KUKKA



........................

there is one glass if u said any false statement in front of that u will die.
american :i think i'm not laziest person he died.
Australian : i think my country is no 1 in the world he died
Sardar : i think ..................... He died.


...................]

Sweet insult:
one boy falls Near a donkey, a uiful girl sees dis n says
" enty mee anna kallu mokkutunnava??"
Boy say's: avunu vadina..........





.................

A man called FM Radio & said " i have found a wallet with 15000 Rs/-, acredit card & and id card of Mr : krish ,shop no 13,afdal gubnj ,hyd-36..

Rj: how honest so you want to return his wallet ??

man : no way..!!, u crazy !!!
i just wanted to dedicate him a sad song



...................
naku call cheyalani okka sari kuda anipinchaleda???


anthee memu enduku gurthuntam kada ???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
sardar sent this msg 2 customer care





...........


A young man tries to impress a young girl,
"i've seen u somewhere".

girl replied

"QUITE POSSIBLE I'm a nurse in mental hospital





..............

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.
He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"






..................

Sardar was travelling in bus.sudenly driver applied brake!
Sardar fell on a girl!
Girl: hey wat r u doing?
Sardar: final year b.com in punjab university.





.............

jeevithamlo evarini takkuva anchana veyyakudadu

for example

oka cheema nee bugga koraka galadu,
but nuvvu
cheema bugga korakagalava???

try cheyyi



..............


things in boys room b4 marriage :
perfums,
loveletters,
gifts,
playing cards,
n73 cell

aftermarriage:
painkillers,
loanpapers,
unpaidbills,
1100





...............


y popcorn jumps when heated on stove ????
.
.
.
.


nuvvu stove meeda kurcho appudu telustundi popcorn enduku egurutundo.................


.................


Ultimate answer while changing the job.

Interviewer: why did you leave your last job?
Applicant : B'coz the company shifted the office and didn't tell me where......




.........................

sardar fixd his marrge on 2nd june. he sent inviton to all his frnds lik dis "marrge is on june 2nd. plz come on 1st nit,we all will enjoy..!"

.....................

two lovers plan to suicide

boy : jumps 1st
Girl closed her eyes and returned back
boy in air opens parachute and shouts " Naku telusey mee gurunchi"anduke parachute esukoni dukhanu "



....................


sardarne coffee how much sir,,,,,,,?
Owner:1 coffee 5 rupees,,
Sardar:opposite shop lo 50 paisa only,,,,,
Owner: u stupid ,,,,
that is xerox copy ,,,,,,




....................

The only place in India where food is cheap,
Tea- Rs. 1.00
Soup- Rs. 5.50
dal- Rs. 1.50
dosa- Rs. 4.00
.........biryani- Rs. 8. 00
chicken- Rs. 24 .50
These items are meant for poor people & are available at
Indian Parliment canteen.
The salary of those poor people is Rs.80,000 /
month without income tax....!!!



.......................


BRANDED WORLD-
A rich girl was walking by the river in the fOrest- suddenly, she saw a running cheetah-
she screamd- OH MY GOD- "PUMA"



....................

The answer to the toughest question is here!

"when will u know u r in LOVE?"

U know it when U start looking for the cheapest mobile plan.


.................

Girl:I love u
Boy:I luv u to
G:nannu preminchavu kada pellilo katnam mata ethavuga
B:nuvu badapadaku dear katnam enti asalu pelli mate ethanu


....................

Our brilliaNt Santa does it agaiN:

Teacher-Which is ur favourite dish?

.

.

.

Santa-TATA SKY!!



.........................

Santa falls in a Sea
he sees a Fish
& throws it to Land
&says-

I'm going to die,
at least u save ur life


Biscuit kept in air bcomes soft.
Cake kept in air bcomes hard.
MORAL:
Hrd n sft kadu point gaaliki tirigite evadina paniki rakunda potadu



.................


Sardar breaks an egg for omlet.. the egg was empty..
Sardar:"oye,my god..new generation hens also started 2 do abortion!! Wat a crazy world!
__________________

3 stages in a guy's love life..

Stage 1:
Ye maaya chesave

Stage 2:
Enduku maaya chesave

Stage 3:
Jeevitham buggi paalu chesave



...........................

Dr-Ur weight was 65kgs yesterday,today its 55kgs,i think yu r having dangerous disease-
Woman-I was in a hurry,so i couldnt do "MAKE UP"



.............
Light can replace Sun,
Parents can replace God,
But noth'g in
d Wrld can
replace U...

Bcoz
.
.
.
"LOCAL-ITEMS"
No guarantee,
No replacemnT!;-)

..............
A boy wrote
luv letter wit his BLOOD 2 a medical girl& said
"Plz reply 4 my letter"
Girl reply:
Blod grp B+
Hemoglobin-8
Sugar-ok
Fees-100Rs



.............

Height of insult:

A boy mesagd his AIEEE rank 2 his friend.

Friend's reply: 'hey mama, kotha no. Ah? epudu theeskunavra"




............
Height of addiction:
Jst bfore a prisoner's execution d officer askd him abt his lst reqst
He said
I wnt 2 update my facebuk status as'dead'




.....................

In 1980,IDBI rejectd Loan 2Ambani.

30yrs latr

Mukesh Ambani Planed 2buy IDBI

Dis shows Nothing is ImPosible.

2day "SBI" Rejectd My Loan.


.................

U r my Best,Smart,Cute,Genious,Lovble,Sweet &Inteligent Frnd"

Note:-"Msg lo rasina words kevalam kalpitam, evarini uddesinchi rasinavi kadu"




..............................

Boy: our Prncipal is a Rascal
.
Girl:do u know who am I?
.
B:No
.
G:Im principl's daughter
.
B:do u know who am I?
.
G:No
.
B:thank god

--------------------
Patient: Nuvvu na Hrudayam dochesav..!
Nurse: Edchav le yedava, Avatala doctor nee Kidney dobbesadu chusuko.!!

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------
7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
--------------------------------------------------
8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

--------------------------------------------------
9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
--------------------------------------------------
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
--------------------------------------------------
11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
--------------------------------------------------
12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
--------------------------------------------------
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
--------------------------------------------------
14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
--------------------------------------------------
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his
computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change th e startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and
it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is
frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let
me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
-------------------------------------------------
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and
may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

Why student fails in exam

Why student fails in exam???????
Its not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an ONLY 365 days. Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days.

5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30 days. Balance 96 days.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days.

7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days.

10. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day.

11. That 1 day is your birthday